Battleship The most Michael Bayish movie not directed by Michael Bay


Directed by: Peter Berg

Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Brooklyn Decker, Rihanna, Alexander Skarsgard, Liam Neeson

There is nothing more disappointing than watching one of my favorite actors having to act and try their best in a movie destined for failure and Liam Neeson was one of the them and Battleship was the film. Everything from the get go was a recipe for disaster; actors and actresses who aren’t all that experienced, a terribly written plot that resembles yet another Hasbro franchise, and the fact that it was based of a board game that is the least likely thing to be adapted to the screen. I had no expectations for this movie other than it being a fun time killer and it even failed on those expectations, which is sad since I actually liked Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance.The one thing that I can give it credit for is having some extremely incredible special effects and it seems that the time was taken to actually build an exciting movie but that never came to be. The film suffers so many gapping plot holes and horrible well everything there is not much this movie is going to offer anyone. There was a point in the movie where the aliens fly down to earth, in a way that the Autobots and Decepticons did, and one hits a small satellite and it is completely obliterated but when it comes to encountering an actual warship those aliens are damn near invulnerable to any sort of damage. I could go into more about plot holes but I really don’t intend on making this that long a review so I’ll just stick to that one.

Peter Berg (Hancock) produces and directs Battleship, an epic action-adventure that unfolds across the seas, in the skies and over land as our planet fights for survival against a superior force. Based on Hasbro’s classic naval combat game, Battleship stars Taylor Kitsch as Lt. Alex Hopper, a Naval officer assigned to the USS John Paul Jones; Brooklyn Decker as Sam Shane, a physical therapist and Hopper’s fiancée; Alexander Skarsgård as Hopper’s older brother, Stone, Commanding Officer of the USS Sampson; Rihanna as Petty Officer Raikes, Hopper’s crewmate and a weapons specialist on the USS John Paul Jones; and international superstar Liam Neeson as Hopper and Stone’s superior (and Sam’s father), Admiral Shane.

It seems like this year is not the year for Taylor Kitsch, he had to box office bombs with John Carter (which I actually enjoyed) and Battleship and had a resonible box success with Savages (another I enjoyed). With the exception of Liam Neeson, who I think would have done a better job in the lead role than Kitsch, all the actors where rather wooden, both female characters where so badly acted that I really wish that a more talented actress could have done right by them. This movie is the typical alien invasion movie kinda like a hybrid of Transformers and Independence Day, except in this they don’t kill the aliens with a virus in which the human race defeats a far more advanced race than or own and with better technology (I have nothing against that if done correctly). The most amusing part out of the entire movie is when the main characters use wave movement to track the enemy ships which turn out to be a giant screen in the form of an actual Battleship board game grid, with the actors shouting Eco One One as in E11, I think that this was a fun way of realizing how ridiculous the entire situation is and a very welcome nod to the board game that inspired the movie.

I really wish that the film makers and studio just never have done this movie because it sucks to see movies going down a road like this in which the movie is style over substance, I like a movie that is more of an experience with great characters and story that transports you into a different world. In terms of Battleship it only includes style with absolutely no substance. Sure it is a style that Michael Bay has proven can be successful, he has his movies with a combination of both (The Island and The Rock) but he has mastered movies that are just dumb fun, and on the other hand Battleship proves that it can be unsuccessful as well.

3 out of 10

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3 thoughts on “Battleship The most Michael Bayish movie not directed by Michael Bay”

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